What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Yes sir it is.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

HELLO

Is Beehiiv better than Substack?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Why does it itch on my vulva, uterus, and sides of my vagina, but it doesn't itch inside the vagina?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

{RING} {RING}

What a list actors/ actresses are notorious for being jerks in real life?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

After a few moments he returns.

Sure no problem officer.

Why am I not getting any atheists to debate with? Are they scared?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

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Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?